There are 2 main stages in a human being’s love life journey. Lack of clarity around this one fact is the heart of most relationship suffering. Our personal growth happens in this stage, hopefully. We do our self discovery work in this stage of life, if we are sufficiently awake to work with it this way. If not, we stagnate here. Growth relating happens when we tangle with our attraction partners and sparks fly. We need to do this in order to get to know ourselves. If not, we stagnate here.

We need to do this in order to get to know ourselves, to feel into what we need to work on and discover about what we want out of life. This is a stage to go through…not to stay in forever, yet this is the stage that most people are in when they get married. This one fact is the heart of most martial/long term relationship suffering. Adult, core value and personal integrity based relationships are about aligning purposes. Our personal growth happens in this stage, hopefully.

When we know ourselves well and have taken action on our life purpose we can then and only then make wise choices about who we hang out with, create alliances with and who we partner with in a committed sexual relationship. The goal in this stage is be super potent and constructive in the world together, more so than if you were apart. How many couples do you see that are doing their relationship with both firmly planet in this stage?

You can see that the big question becomes, how do you use your dating life to get through the Less-Mature-Self-Stage and come out the other side ready to rock in your Mature-Self relationships? So, the answer is that you use your stage 1 experiences with a frame around them as being solely for self discovery and this will launch you into the capacity to do a long term relationship with confidence and clearing.